Happy Father’s Day, dad

Father’s day, like many holidays, can invoke strong emotion. We work with many families who have unresolved issues when a loved one dies. It can be very difficult for loved ones to find closure in these situations.

Some unresolved issues are so deep and hurtful that they cannot be resolved.

A few years ago, my father posted on Facebook that he tripped and fell while on a walk and ended up having to go to the ER. Although we were Facebook friends, we had not talked in years. He was living in Washington DC and remarried – I had only met his wife once. He had never met his grandchildren.

As I read my father’s post, I thought about the families I counseled in my law firm conference room as they struggled through the death of an estranged family member. Given that a minor fall landed him in the hospital, I worried we might not have much time left. I decided I did not want that for me and, more importantly, my children.

I reached out to him and extended an invitation. They came to Racine for a visit with us almost immediately! My kids were excited to meet them and welcomed them with open arms. Before the pandemic, they visited us here in southeast Wisconsin regularly, and we all flew out to visit them a few times.

It has been wonderful getting to know each other as adults and watching them with their grandchildren.

I know it is not always possible. But, for me, letting go of the past and accepting the present has brought me such peace and allowed me and my children to get to know two amazing people.

Happy Father’s Day, dad. And happy Father’s Day to all the dads, grandpas, and father figures out there!